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The Fifth Column Gets Press

by J. Orlin Grabbe

Media Bypass printed up thousands of extra copies of its September issue, which carries a picture of the Angel of Death (AOD) on the cover. But they've already run out, and had to order up more.

An amazing array of congress-critters have been calling up the AOD and asking him to autograph their copies. Do we have here the makings of a new superstar? Or are they just relieved they didn't receive Fifth Column packets detailing their financial shenanigans?

Contact has 'fessed up they are not in contact with the Fifth Column, but would like to be. In the August 6 issue, Hatonn notes: "... it appears Grandma has stated briefly in one of her printed documents that the "Fifth Column" is giving information and making contact with CONTACT! NO, THIS IS NOT SO. ...[But] if you can get us hooked up with a contact inside the Fifth Column--we would ENJOY running all the information they will share with us. Until then we will continue to offer what we "know from other sources" and hope it is true. We would rather print an error than to MISS the truth ..."

If only Brother Bill had the same attitude! Brother Bill doesn't want his ex-good friend Dick Morris telling the truth. He's afraid Morris may have received a Fifth Column packet, in addition to droll attention from the Star, and will be telling all he knows to Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr.

Aww, don't sweat it Brother Bill. Have another line, throw a temper tantrum, order some more troops to Saudi Arabia, and warn your staff about what information they can, and cannot, put in the WHODB. And tell them no, repeat NO, extracurricular sex at the Jefferson Hotel.

There is one thing, Brother Bill. Remember that day when Dick Morris, perhaps covered with a patina of post-coital perspiration, called you up, and you told him that Hillary wasn't there at the White House, and to not call when she was? Remember that day? Well, where was Hillary at that time, Brother Bill? I've been told you might want to look into that. You might find the answer very, very interesting. Before you have another temper tantrum, of course.

August 30, 1996
Web Page: http://www.aci.net/kalliste/