There is nothing more American (for the government, anyway) than collecting taxes and selling drugs.
But the innovative IRS regional office in Covington, Kentucky, has managed to combine the two operations. Yesterday (Thursday, Sept. 19) five IRS employees were indicted for selling crack cocaine.
Listed in the indictment are Larry Cummings, Gina Wells, Gregory Thornton, Holly Armstrong, and Corey Thomas, according to the office of public affairs (606-292-5652). All have been placed on administrative leave. They will be arraigned in federal court in Kentucky on November 4, or thereabouts.
I've been to the Covington IRS office. They have a big fence and guards who want to know the nature of your business if you don't have an employee I.D. I went there to help the Angel of Death (AOD) pick up a T.V. set. He explained the purpose of the fence: "That's all intended to keep the other crack dealers away."
Can I get my tax refund in a baggie?
If IRS employees were selling crack cocaine, what else were they selling? What would an IRS employee have to sell, anyway? Hmmm.
"How secure is your computer system?" I asked the office of public affairs.
The answer I got was, in essence: "Very secure. These were just clerks that were indicted. Anyway, there is an audit trail. Any unauthorized access to taxpayer files would be picked up immediately."
Where have I heard that before?
The IRS employee indictments are connected to a series of "Hackers Versus Politicians, Part II," money-on-the-side investigations taking place throughout Kentucky.
Two members of the National Guard--a General and a Lieutenant Colonel--have been indicted for selling promotions. Their actions were, of course, partly inspired by patriotism: they were raising money for the gubernatorial campaign of Brereton C. Jones, Kentucky's governor just prior to the current governor, Paul Patton.
I hear an indictment is currently being prepared for Mr. Jones. Bye-bye, Jones. Your horses will miss you.
And where are these Kentucky investigations leading? Straight to the mansion of Governor Paul Patton, I am told. Mr. Patton, a friend of Bill Clinton (FOB), was scheduled for a thirty-minute speech at the recent Democrat National Convention. It was cut to three minutes. Was Bill afraid he might have, say, another Dick Morris on his hands? Well, okay, Bill didn't know about Dick Morris at the time.
I am told by investigators that from Kentucky the path leads onward to Montana, where a virtual alphabet soup of indictments are being drawn up: not only for the drug-dealing FBI agents that I mentioned in previous posts, but also IRS and DEA employees. Not to mention the Montana governor, Marc Racicot.
The best is yet to come, in this fine narco-republic of ours.
September 20, 1996
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