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The Monster Threatens Starr

by J. Orlin Grabbe

According to sex entrepreneur Sherry Rowlands, Dick Morris--the political strategist responsible for Bill Clinton's family values agenda--would, when he wasn't sucking on her toes, refer to Clinton as "The Monster", in reference to the President's temper tantrums.

Well, The Monster is now having a lot more temper tantrums. Dick Morris supposedly "resigned" overnight to Clinton's "surprise". White House Press Secretary Mike McCurry said Morris had not been asked to resign. And if you believe that, then you probably believe Bill and Hillary are one happy family couple.

The bigger issue is whether Morris' health insurance covers hoof-in-mouth disease. For a decade, people who have disappointed or crossed Bill Clinton have a habit of meeting unfortunate "accidents".

And now the winds of rumor out of Little Rock say that the POTUS (President of the United States) has sent a threatening message to the Special Prosecutor Kenneth Starr, claiming he is getting out of hand. The exact wording is neither here nor there, but the subtext of the message is clear: Continue to investigate me and I'll have you killed.

It seems to me the last person who threatened to do that was Jim Guy Tucker, who is now a convicted felon on probation. And telling all he knows about Bill Clinton.

Clinton, of course, has promised to help pay the legal bills of all his friends--provided they don't cooperate or plea bargain with the prosecutor(s). Clinton offered this latest bribe on television, during his choo-choo ride to Chicago.

It would seem to me that Clinton would be more concerned with watching his own ass, rather than horsing around with other people's. He took six extra bodyguards with him to Wyoming. That was presumably due to the terrorist threat, as seen in two multistate electrical blackouts and the downing of TWA 800. But he has also thumbed his nose at all the big boys who asked him to resign or withdraw.

One of these days they may have temper tantrums of their own. And then Mr. Clinton might find himself all alone in the schoolyard, with no friends to play with.

August 29, 1996
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